Top 10 Things I Miss Right Now

10. Being at the Regent to see Wicked. And to experience its awesome score. The one that gave me swirly feelings in my stomach area when I heard it.

9. ER. Fuckin' ruin my life and end it, why don't you? Stupid executive television network demographic expiry date bullshit.

8. Internet usage allowance.

7. Priceline. I mean, Priceline co-workers. Certain Priceline co-workers. The ones who don't shit me by exisiting, who were cordial from the get-go, who were always pleasant to work with, who totally ruined me for all future co-workers.

6. Uzu. Katsu curry. "Next prease?"

5. Money. TWO monthly concession tickets?! TWO?!? WHAT THE FLIPPITY-FUCK?! Am I on drugs?

4. The tennis. My camera in Nadal's face. IN. HIS. FACE. THISCLOSE. "Touch, okay?"

3. Ray and Neela. Being together. Neela being hott. Ray being...not quite.

2. Nothing to obsess about. I feel...incomplete.

1. Wicked. Because Sydney sucks cock and doesn't deserve to host my beloved baby. And my heart is withering just thinking about how that wretched city is tainting it. BRB SHAKING AND CRYING.

End of an ERa, Part 1: How the Roomies Were Cheated

This is a belated post about the end of the Roomies' story on the now-defunct ER (*WEEP*).

Every blind man and his dog in the ER fandom knew that Ray would be making a second appearance before the final season was through - how could we have missed all the glinting anvils raining down onto Neela's head, and thereby our heads? Never mind that AussieDoc kind of grew on me by mid-season (bad, TG!), Ray was the one who let Neela know he was "thinking about [her]". Never mind that AussieDoc actually became her boyfriend, Ray was the one who kept calling to talk to her in her dreams. Never mind that AussieDoc wanted to take her away to Venice, Ray was the one who sent her a Valentine's Day CD that served as very effective montage music for all the other characters too. Never mind that AussieDoc wanted to end every conversation in sex, Ray was the fabulously-timed phone call that sent AussieDoc right out the door.

What with all these obvious signs pointing to Dr. McLegless appearing and sweeping Neela off to go get married and start having pretty little babies, it came as major disappointment when the real storyline went down.

And so it is, My Disappointment In Pictures:

Neela's farewell episode, two before the series came to an end, started off with some lovely DubenkoNeela interaction. Mmm, Dubenko...I would've been right on board with some Deela couple-dom.

Look how sad he is to lose her to another hospital...and so he should be.

Then we get some AussieDoc running to catch her at the airport, like some sappy romantic comedy plotline, so that they may sit down and consume alcohol and talk out their break-up.

Breela. With Ray symbolically in the middle.

Some more Breela bonding. No Ray as of yet.

Really, did we need so much? And where is Ray?

Then, Dr. Andrew "Weasel" Wade came back after being AWOL for a bajillion episodes, so that gave me some much needed relief from the Breela bonding.

Ahh...Weasel...I heart thee.

Back to The Breela Break-up Bonding That Won't End. Go bond with Ray, Neela! Listen to me!

Neela kicks arse one last time in the County OR, denying Weasel of his first surgery. Dubenko looks on with pride. Ray is still nowhere to be found.

And then, we are subjected to the horrifying conclusion of Breela, where they think it's appropriate to mack on each other as a final farewell gesture. Go away Brenner! GO AWAY! Come save her, Ray!

This kiss will hurt ten times more by the episode's conclusion, when all the Reela fans realise how fuckin' gypped we were/are/always will be.

Frank throws Neela a surprise farewell party, in the most un-PC manner possible, as Frank can always be counted upon to be. At said farewell party, where they present Neela with Bollywood dancers and a hideous bright orange saffron cake, her co-workers wax lyrical about Neela's awesomeness. Weasel chimes in endearingly that Neela taught him, "like, everything!"

Oh, Weasel. You are so charmingly earnest. Don't you remember how Neela kind of hated you and refused to teach you because you got her arse sued by a dead patient's family, because you failed to treat said patient properly at the time, only you took it upon yourself to be earnest with the family and told them it was your fault and as you are only an intern, your supervisor Neela had to take the fall? Remember the stink eye she practically tried to kill you with?!

Dubenko sombers the party when he enters, bearing a gift: Neela's locker nameplate.

Dubenko is my knight in shining labcoat.

Haleh takes Neela to The Mysteriously-Located Wall of Names, where she also took Abby earlier this season. It's all really sad and weepy, because we get all these flashbacks of Neela through the years...on her first day, being greeted in un-PC fashion by Frank...with her late husband, Gallant...with the late Pratt...being asked by Abby to be a maid of honour...and...and...no Ray. The Barnett nameplate on the wall is totally ignored. I'm so broken up inside.

A 'moment' with Haleh, brought to us by ER-hates-Ray scriptwriters.

Neela plops her nameplate onto the Wall, nowhere near her dead husband's name, nor Abby's or Pratt's, nor Ray's. But the latter was to be expected by now. I'm surprised they even went to the trouble of making a nameplate for the character to stick on the Wall at all.

Then, she's off. She gets stuck at the airport. We're not supposed to know where's she headed for her new job. Brenner comes to do their hour-long bonding (the episode skips around in time). And just as she's about to board, she gets a phonecall...

Abby!

Abby's all, 'get on the plane and go find Ray!' but not so explicitly, because it's still meant to be a secret to the audience, even though we saw Shane West's name at the beginning of the episode. However, at this 3/4 mark and no sign of Gimpy McLegless, the great Reela hope starts to plummet.

Then we're subjected to tedious filler, in which Neela is on a plane, Neela gets off that plane...

...Neela goes driving wherever it was that her plane landed...

...thank God for Dubenko and Weasel. Not so much Brenner.

Dubenko appears to take Weasel under his wing as his new surgical protegé, which is really sweet and although I suspect Weasel will be no Neela, at least Dubenko has someone to teach and distract himself with, so that he won't be too miserable about his real protegé gone away and all. Brenner leers on, probably wondering if he too can take Weasel on as a Neela replacement. Ew. Weasel, don't do it!

Neela, wasting more screen time.

Neela stares at a hip elderly gentleman, rocking out in the elevator. He's received more screen time than Ray thus far.

At last, Neela has wasted so much time that there is no choice but to bring Ray in. We're down to the last two or so minutes of the episode, if you can fuckin' believe it, by the time she gets to the damn physiotherapy room and locates Ray, where he's working with other McGimpies.

What all the Reela fans have waited and waited and waited some more for ends up being...this:

Countdown to Sob City, begins now.

Neela just does googly eyes at him, while he laughs to himself, probably thinking about how much he got paid to do one minute's worth of acting. This is fuckin' arse, peoples.

Ray gimps over to her, sloooooowly, so as to waste even more time not actually interacting with Neela. Fuck. This. Seriously. I am more than broken now. "Finally," says Ray. Oh, really? Fuckin' really?! Finally?! Are they being IRONIC?!?!?! OH, HARDY-HAR-HAR, WRITERS! I HATE YOU ALL!

Neela looks cross-eyed. I wish I could say it was dazed-eye with love, but I really can't even be sure of that anymore. Who says they even like each other at this point?

"You really here?"

No, Ray. She's a fuckin' hologram. And I wouldn't be surprised if that's what it turned out like, a cruel, evil dream to twist the knife deeper into our Reela-loving hearts.

"Yeah. I really am." Fade to black.

And that? Was it. THAT WAS IT. Three lines. Two minutes. No hug. No kiss. No touching. NOTHING.

FUCK YOU, WRITERS! FUCK YOU, REELA! FUCK YOU, ER! FUCK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!

The Day Joe Got a New (and Cuter) Face

Meet Joe, born a premature bastard son to Doctors Abby Lockhart and Luka Kovac of ER, because of a shootout in the department that resulted in his mother's fall. His birth also came with the mother of all gigantic abruption clots that really needs to be seen to be believed, but that's for another day. Today is all about Joe and his cutie-pie face.

How adorable is that little mug? Picture too small to tell? Let me help:

Howzabout that?

Oh, Joe is too cute! I want to pinch those fat little cheeks! His eyebrows- they quirk! How cute is that?! His purpley pyjamas! His growing-out bowl haircut! His baby chub!

Look at that face. LOOK. AT. THAT. FACE. (Do you know what he just said there? He said "boo." Unscripted. Improv. Genius.)

My point, if it isn't yet clear, is that Joe Kovac is really, really, really cute...in this episode. That's right. ER honchos think fanatics like me won't realise that the tot playing Joe is suddenly much cuter in the season finale, but oh no! I knew it was a different Joe the moment his chubby little mug hit the screen. Why? Because Joe had spent the rest of the season looking like this:

And this:

And this:

Quite clearly the same set of twins or whatever were used for these episodes and quite clearly they were not as cute as season finale Joe. I'm not saying this child is hideous (but I might be. But I might not be.) but they simply can't just spring AdorableJoe on me one episode and then later, revert back to UsualJoe and expect me to just accept that. I can't. Where in the world did they find AdorableJoe and why couldn't he come back? See, in Abby's last episode (and the family's, subsequently), we got a glimpse of Joe sitting in the car and I was sorely disappointed to see that they'd stuck us with UsualJoe one last time, albeit "all growed up" now:

You are no AdorableJoe.

Le sigh. Oh, Joe. I miss your cuter face. ER honchos, you are despicable. This is what AdorableJoe thinks of you for NOT giving him and his face a recurring status on the series:

He even glares at the camera cutely. Sublime acting. Words fail me, AdorableJoe.